50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
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Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.
WOW. OUU. WOWW. WOAH.oooOOOuuUUU. WOAW. WAAW.
what a time to be alive
I’m really trying to be a better person but I want him and whatever he’s making.
So I was filling out a job app just now and these are my options.
I want to draw your attention to what America considers “WHITE”.
Original people’s from Europe, the Middle East, or North Africa
the Middle East.
This is what Black People mean when we talk about the problems of systematic racism, rewriting of history in books, PoC erasure from subtle normal everyday things. You tell a lie long enough, it will become truth. The original people were in Africa meaning they were Black not white. You are not white if you’re in the Middle East, North Africa is still Africa is still very much filled with Black people. This is what casual everyday racism looks like, in systematic forms, not long before our history books start to look like this. The Texas Board of Education (X) already wants to rewrite history of Black People being enslaved, and change it to them being indentured servants.
When Black People talk about all the ways white supremacy through racism effects us, whether it be Cultural Appropriation, Whitewashing, Colonialism, Gentrification. Erasure, etc this is how it gets reinforced how it’s normalized, in everyday societal culture. Simple things like this, gets stated like it’s truth, like it’s fact. The problem of things like this, the problem of myths and miscommunication is that it leads to things like PoC erasure, it leads to accepting common knowledge that is born out of academic racism, like the lie that the Egyptians are not Black, when they in fact were Black. Racist common knowledge like that becomes truth in society because that’s how humans are. Truth that reinforces bigger overt ideologies based in white supremacy like Black People not contributing anything of value, or deeming as cultural to humanity, because Black People are just degenerate darkies, who are sub human unintelligent creatures. Simple shit like this, everyday casual racism like this impacts the overt racial oppression that PoC face.
Once again, Caucasian does not mean white, and using it to mean white is actually racist.
There are real Caucasian people who live in the Caucasus region, and they are not white.
THANK YOU. Don’t call me white & don’t equate my people to whiteness.
I remember when this word magically “surfaced” and suddenly white folks were identifying as Caucasian and I have to wonder:
Do y’all be having town meetings about this type of shit? Is there some Templar-order level bullshit that votes on what new white myths to release? Like that time y’all invented the word ‘Ebonics’ in the 90s and tried to pawn it off as legitimate?
Or that time y’all reconstructed King Tut’s face and somehow he looked like a white man with eyeliner on?
Like for real y’all gotta pray.
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when people are pushing ur buttons and ur just like “how am i gonna be a hufflepuff about this”
three words. just those these special words. and ill be yours forever.
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